Are you in my audience of women who finds yourself having new dreams and facing new fears, but putting them aside and settling into your comfort zone of safety for your last few decades?
Maybe you’ve been the woman who has never been intimidated by seemingly impossible challenges of being a mother, a career woman, or catastrophic events at any time in your life.
If you are in the club with most, the fears and obstacles you once found solutions for have transitioned into new ones. And maybe some of those residual fears have always been cousin to your dreams. But you always had legitimate excuses for putting them aside and settling into your comfort zone alongside all the reasons why you couldn’t or shouldn’t.
“Oh, I could never…..”
How many times have you started a sentence with those 4 words?
“Oh, I could never have friends over for dinner. But once my house is decorated the way I want…”
“Oh, I could never travel by myself. People would feel sorry for me, and I’d feel so lonely.”
“Oh, I could never move out of this house. What if it was a mistake?”
“Oh, I could never start my own business.”
Think of 3 to 5 ICN’s (I could never’s) you’ve said quietly to yourself or actually confessed to a friend sometime in your life either years ago or recently. Jot them down. Go ahead, jot as many as you like. Yikes.
Yup, I too, have a sense of humor, and will appreciate those of you who will write “I could never sail solo across the Atlantic…”, claiming it’s been your dream. Uh-huh. Yeah. No fantasies allowed in this conversation.
I’m willing to bet you could list more than a legal pad could handle ~ all the things you’ve seen other women do, but never thought they applied to you ~ fleeting ideas that you shelved and never thought of again, all the cool stuff you occasionally read in magazines about women who started with a pencil & loaf of white bread, and somehow created a brilliant business all on her own, or started an orphanage in a country waaay far away.
Sure, in some (or many) cases, there have been places and situations throughout life where God has placed you for good reason. And I’m a firm believer that we each have a story to tell that serves His purpose and plan. (more on that in another post)
But for now, let’s think about now. Today. This week. This month. Or even this year.
So start your list without judgement of yourself. Consider the ICN’s that would be do-able if you weren’t facing certain fears ~
- fear of failure
- fear of disappointing others
- fear of disappointing yourself
- fear of financial ruin
What other fears would you be facing? Jot them down next to your ICN’s.
My mission here at carolhennessey.com is to help any of you in your Wisdomic years (I think I just coined a new word) push through those fears and ‘accelerate at 60!’ ~ enabling you to find your courage and discover that on the other side of fear is accomplishment and confidence. Even if it’s re-styling your wardrobe, or starting a blog to help & teach others.
Clearly, my digital home will be part of your solution, not part of your problem. I believe Fear is at the front door of our UNcomfort Zones, so this is a place to find inspiration, tips, and solutions that will bring clarity, accomplishment, and value in taking risks and making changes.
For now, put your ICN list under your pillow and sleep on it. You may be swept into Falling in love with your UNcomfort zone.
Welcome in ~ Carol ♥
Carol, nice read while I am sitting at a car wash waiting for my car to receive some long overdue attention. I immediately starting ticking off my ICN list and it is way too long. Thanks for encouraging me to get out of my uncomfortable zone.
Wishing you well in your new endeavor.
Debbie, thanks for taking the time to visit and think. Some of my scariest ICN’s would seem petty and small to someone else (like having folks over for dinner!) but we all have to claim what’s ours. The more ICN’s we face and conquer, the stronger we get, and the bigger our world becomes. It’s truly amazing!
Hi Carol!
Love this first blog and the whole idea! You go, girl! I’m about to plunge into my Uncomfort Zone as I retire at the end of this year. Forty plus years of being a social worker/therapist and now am facing a new chapter, selling the home place, moving from this community I have called home since 1974. I’ve just started my ICN list. Such a helpful idea! Thank you. I plan to follow you as you formulate your ideas and pass them on. Love being part of your process now, as always!
Trust me Peggy. As scary as our UNcomfort zones appear, they are only as scary as we let them be. It kinda reminds me of the wizard. Once Toto pulled the curtain aside, and Dorothy discovered her fear of him was only in her own mind, everything changed. And her rewards were amazing. God made you to be brave, and you ARE!
Amazing start you’re making Carol. Well done.
I look forward to following your progress and will begin looking at my list of can’t dos…I generally fall into things bcs I don’t know what I’m getting into and then look around and think….gee…how did I do that….and then deal with the extraction process….maybe a more thoughtful approach would be better.
Thanks Pennie! Especially today on International Women’s Day!
Love this, Carol! It has made me resolve to banish the words “I could never” from my mind and mouth :-). When I get to the other side, I plan to ask God why so much of our personal growth comes from the hard times and the uncomfortable times. But it is certainly true, so this advice to embrace the UNcomfort zone is so important. Thank you from a fellow hope*writer.
Thanks Elizabeth. Let me know what he says if you get there first. (Grin and Heart)