I’ve moved more than I care to admit (hmmm . . . ), with the price of admission being a handful of smart a$$ friends who love to poke fun.

Let me make it clear. The Fear of pulling up anchor never quite goes away. It just gets easier to recognize and deal with when it rears its ugly head.

I’m not claiming to be an expert at moving, packing, counting boxes, or finding the cheapest mover-dude, but what I do claim is to understand the profound fear of doing it when you’re over 59, and single.

There’re a zillion great articles and posts about ‘fear of moving’, and you should read a few. But once I see the beautiful young faces of the authors, I realize the frame around their picture isn’t the same.

When you’re over 59, and single, it’s just plain different. And if you’re in this category, jump on board the Fear Boat with other women like you and me who get it.

Are you moving away from something? Or moving toward something?

Two moves ago, it was job loss (again) with a few additional details sprinkled in. I absolutely loved my 200 yr-old-house (except the power bills in the winter) in a waterfront historic town in southeast VA. With financial challenges, it had become a burden to keep up, and although I’d looked for that good looking, wealthy, funny guy to move in and share the bills, time was up.

It slowly became clear the battle to compete with kids half my age, for a job I didn’t really want, just to pay my bills, was not a choice I was willing to make in order to stay. Ten years ago, or even 5, I would’ve made a different decision, but now I had the opportunity to see my age as an advantage. I could do anything I wanted without the responsibility of supporting kids.

And ‘Olive’ was up for anything as most good dogs are.

So I began to consider what I really wanted out of life for the next few decades, as well as the merits of downsizing, renting instead of owning, and some of the freedoms it would give me.

I also started considering my UNcomfort zone. I’d already been thrown into it, without my permission. And now I was intentionally making the decision to be brave, take a risk, and have faith that once again, I’d be rewarded by facing the unknown and doing the tough stuff.

What scares you? What stops you?

The only person stopping me from taking the next step in making the decision to sell my house and move was me. Of course there will always be friends, neighbors, family, and your grown kids who try to inject you with self doubt. Sometimes you feel like a ping pong ball, first feeling brave and confident, then lying in bed that same night wondering, “What am I thinking? There’s no way I can leave my home of 30 years. I’m just simply too afraid.”

Some of us get so tired of thinking about it, being batted from side-to-side by the ping pong paddles, we finally give in to the fear of the unknown. “Ok, I don’t care anymore, I’m just gonna stop thinking about it and do it.“

Twice I’ve made the decision to move out of state. We’re all different, but both times I had to stay away from the well-intentioned posts advising me about what to do after I got where I was going. It became overwhelming when I had more immediate concerns about whether or not to have a yard sale vs taking stuff to Good Will.

And even that came long after making the commitment in my mind and heart to move.

The hardest part of moving comes waaay before planning and packing.

My best advice? Break everything into itty-bitty steps, and take one at a time. The most difficult step is actually making the decision. The second one is feeling good about it. Both are equally daunting, and equally tangled up in fear and self doubt.

Ladies, it can be a lonely feeling sometimes. Making decisions and doing big jobs like moving, all by yourself. If you’re like me, you also tend to over-think and end up with paralysis of analysis. Not good.

If any of you out there are somewhere along the path and timeline of downsizing and/or moving, and wish you had a small group of women to chat with online who are in the same boat, feel free to sign up with your email address, and leave a comment below. It would be great to connect and offer each other some inspiration, advice, and “atta-girl’s”. Let’s keep at it.

More later. . . . Til then, do your best to fall in love with that nagging, yet powerful, UNcomfort zone. I’ll meet you there! ~ Carol ♥