Okay, here I am. Standing on the high dive. Ready to make the plunge. Would you jump feet first? go for the head-first dive? Or, would you turn around and go back?

This blog is something I’ve been thinking about for waaaay too long. And perfect or not (NOT), it’s past due in launching. I’ve climbed the ladder, walked to the end, and it’s time. Time to do something I’ve never done, don’t know much about, and have no idea what the results will be. The fear is daunting, and my expertise at procrastination is as shiny as a gold medal.

Have you ever felt that fear?

I remember being 7 months pregnant in 1981 with my first baby, looking down at my belly, and starting to cry. Fear had come over me, and it hit me that there was no way out of this situation. This baby was gonna come out, one way or another. And there was no turning back. Not that I ever wanted to change my mind about having a baby or being a mom, but as a woman who passes out when having her blood drawn, the thought of birth was overwhelming and seemingly impossible. I wanted to be put to sleep 3 days before and wake up 3 days after.

So what basket did I put my eggs in? Lamaze classes. Yup, somebody told me there was a fabulous woman in the area named Betty who taught these classes, and I should call her. Fast forward 2 months, after 6 weeks of classes, daily practice of every small detail, and growing confidence, my water broke, and 14 hours later I screamed when this 6 pound human appeared in the delivery room. And she didn’t come through the door.

Mind blown.

I did it.

And was alive to tell the tale.

Which is exactly what I did.

How could I, me, the petrified girl, do the scariest thing I could have dreamed of, and not share it with other girls? I just knew there were others like me who were counting down the days in fear of giving birth. And I was compelled to do for them what ‘Betty the Lamaze Teacher’ had done for me. But I wasn’t an RN like she was, and had no plans to be. I was just a teacher with a Masters Degree. So I called her.

Long story short, after several years and three more babies, I became certified and started teaching Lamaze classes. No easy feat, since I had to compensate for not having been to nursing school. Attending 4 times the required births, flying to Dallas for classes, and ‘student teaching’ prepared me as well as possible. Was I a whiz at obstetrical science? Not exactly.

But what I had that most instructors didn’t was the valuable understanding of what it felt like to face insurmountable fear, and what I did to get through it. And that’s what I had to share.

So come full circle.

Here I stand at the end of the diving board. The difference between now and 1981 is that I have a choice. There’s no baby to birth (that would be the immaculate deception) but I do have the same driving force as I did then to share my fears, challenges, failures, and triumphs with those who are just a few weeks, months, or years behind me.

Thirty-some years later, I still don’t have the science, degrees, or other titles behind my name to help those of you in-or-approaching your 60’s. But what I do have is insight, experience, and helpful tips after having struggled to keep my family growing as a single mom, learning ways I never thought possible to pay my bills, being single and lonely, being laid off and fired, and learning what bravery and courage (and a few successes) can do for you when you are seemingly paralyzed by fear and doubt. Making really hard decisions that keep you up at night is the challenge, whether it’s moving out of your 20+ year home, or throwing away the baby shoes you’ve kept since they were born.

Simply put, my advice is to “Fall in love with your UNcomfort zone.”

Because I KNOW, with everything I’m made of, if I can do the scary things, the seemingly impossible things, you can too. And I’m here to help you do just that, in any way I can.

Please be patient with me. There will be posts that knock it out the park. And others that leave you thinking Jeez, that was a waste of my time.

So here we go.

One……… two………. three………. JUMP!!  ~  Carol