Have you ever faced a Fear (with a bold F) in your life that just never seems to go away?

Of course you have. We’ve all experienced the ‘F’ word that just hangs on for dear life, because we just won’t let it go. And we won’t take that first step to get to the other side. It nags us day after day, week after week, and sometimes year after year.

Making Excuses and Ignoring Fear

I’ve been an expert at making excuses, and often times simply ignoring it. “Just don’t think about it anymore.”

Unfortunately, I can think of many such fears. But for starters, and ironically, because I fear telling you the big ones just yet, I’ll admit to a ridiculous one that paralyzed me for years.

When I turned 40 I got my first pair of glasses. I remember going to the eye doctor when my son’s face was blurry and I couldn’t thread a needle. And it wasn’t because I was tired. It was simple. I was 40.

Yes, glasses were the cure, but I hated seeing everything in my world with a picture frame around it.

I wanted contacts.

But I was petrified of touching my eyeball. Yup, a real fear that kept me from doing what I wanted. Silly I know. But real.

That stupid fear was relentless. Every time I thought about putting contacts in, I cringed. There was no way I could do it. It was one of my ICN’s (I could never…). I had no idea what an eyeball felt like (but I was sure it was gross), and I was clear about how sensitive they were. It was out of the question to ever intentionally put my fingertip on my eye. Never.

The Internal Ping Pong Game

The ping pong game went on for a couple years. Back and forth.

“I want contacts.” “I can’t do it.” “I want contacts.” “I can’t do it.”

You would think I could use logic and common sense (neither were working for me). “Carol, millions of people wear them. You can too.” “Uh-huh.”

Eventually, I got tired of the fight. Really tired. Really, really tired.

And then I got irritated. It felt like a rabid dog hanging onto to my leg that wouldn’t let go.

Within time I got so angry at dealing with what became the stupid fight in my head, I gave up and caved.

Basically, and simply put, I was so sick and tired of being afraid, I just closed my eyes, held my breath, and jumped off the high dive. A week later I was wearing contacts. And my dear friend Harriett taught me how to put them in and take them out without touching my gosh darn eyeball.

So what’s the lesson here?

Fear keeps us from doing what we want.

We create our own fear. So only we can decide to bury it.

Deleting Fear

Deleting our fear is a function of how badly we want what’s on the other side, as well as how much bravery we’re willing to trade for our ‘fear-freedom’.

In my case, I learned that having that conversation with myself was much like a parent-child conversation in making me stop the internal argument and follow the Nike tagline. “Carol, this is ridiculous. Stop thinking about it. Just do it.”

Amazingly, I’ve used this technique when all else fails. When the logic doesn’t work, I’m mad at myself for being fearful, and I’m totally worn out thinking about it. I know it’s not scientific, but it works. I’m not saying it works for all fears. But I’m sure you’ve felt that irritation with yourself for being afraid.

Lastly, and most importantly, just take the next step. In my case, the next step was to simply call and make the appointment. Yes, I can do that.

And you can too.

I love the other side of fear. That’s what’s so great about falling in love with your UNcomfort zone ~ Carol ♥